


i'm far from good (still you want me)

by blackrose1002



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Barebacking, Established Relationship, Feelings, Hurt/Comfort, James MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016) Being an Asshole, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 23:30:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18215123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackrose1002/pseuds/blackrose1002
Summary: “I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to change your mind about that.” James shrugged. “But I figured that maybe showing you that you don’t really know the man you’re sleeping with would make you reconsider your life choices.”“And what is that supposed to mean?” Mac asked, his whole body tensing, protectiveness rushing through him as it always did whenever someone dared to say anything negative about Jack.Or the one where James doesn't approve of Mac's relationship with Jack and tries to convince Mac that maybe he doesn't know Jack as well as he thought.





	i'm far from good (still you want me)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there!
> 
> I started writing this fic a few weeks ago, right after posting the previous one, and it took a bit longer for me to finish it than I hoped, but it's finally done! It also got a bit longer than I thought it would be, who is shocked? Not me.
> 
> Fair warning, if you like James MacGyver, this fic is not for you. He's a true villian of this fic and he's a complete asshole.
> 
> As always, big thanks to Sammy for letting me scream at her about this and also for coming up with a bunch of ideas for this fic that she let me steal from her :)
> 
> The title is from the song Next To Me by Imagine Dragons.
> 
> I really hope you enjoy!

“Hey, man, you ready to go?” Jack called out, walking back into the house after putting his backpack in the car, all ready for the little road trip they had planned for one of their rare days off.

“Yeah, yeah, babe, just one sec.” Mac replied absentmindedly, tinkering with… something on the kitchen counter and Jack couldn’t help but smile. Mac didn’t use pet names often, mostly when they were alone or Mac was too worried about Jack to watch what he was saying. They also tended to slip out when Mac was completely at ease and wasn’t paying attention, and these little slip-ups were Jack’s absolute favorites.

Truth to be told, the accidental pet names along with other little things were what Jack loved the most. The way Mac would wake up in the middle of the night because of some kind of idea coming to him while he slept and he just had to get up, bleary-eyed and half asleep, to either test it or write it down. The way Mac was dead to the world before his morning coffee. The way his laugh seemed to lighten up the whole room and the way his eyes glinted mischievously whenever Mac was about to pull off something completely insane with that wicked smile on his face.

The quiet, sleepy mornings when they had nowhere else to be and the way Mac’s body would basically melt, spread out under Jack, his blue eyes slightly glazed over as Jack thrusted in and out of him slowly, lazily mouthing at Mac’s jaw and occasionally nipping at his skin, making Mac let out these small breathless gasps Jack loved so much.

Jack truly hoped he would get to spend the rest of his life appreciating these little things and loving Mac the way he deserved to be loved. They had been officially together for six months and lived together for four, but Jack had figured out a long time ago that Mac was the person he wanted to spend his remaining days with.

And it all depended on Mac’s answer to the question Jack was planning to ask later that day.

Feeling the weight of the ring in his pocket, Jack glanced at Mac to make sure he was still focused on whatever was currently lying in pieces on the counter before leaning against the doorway in a way Mac wouldn’t be able to see his hands. Taking out a small box, Jack opened it quietly, smiling softly at the ring that was inside. When Jack had jokingly asked the lady at the jewelry shop if they had any paperclip inspired engagement rings, he hadn’t actually expected a serious answer, but the second the saleswoman had smiled widely and had showed him the ring, Jack had instantly known it was the one. It was silver and it looked like a paperclip bent in a way it would curve around a finger of the person wearing it; in the middle, there was a small diamond  that was currently glinting and reflecting the sunlight coming in from the outside.

Swallowing down the nervousness that was bubbling inside him, Jack put the ring back in his pocket, not wanting to tempt the fate and risk Mac sneaking up on him and seeing it. Although, judging by the quiet metallic sounds, Mac was nowhere near done and also nowhere near Jack – when Jack took a few steps back into the house, he saw Mac in the exact same spot as before, the tip of his tongue peeking from between his teeth as it usually did when Mac was concentrating on something.

Rolling his eyes fondly, Jack walked up to Mac, wrapping his arms around him from behind and pressing a soft kiss behind his ear. “Tell me, darlin’, is that thingy relevant to our trip today?”

Pausing what he was doing, Mac slowly put the screwdriver away, his body relaxing against Jack. “No, it’s not.” He replied slowly and Jack could hear a smile in his voice.

“Then can we please just leave it for now and go?” Jack nuzzled against Mac’s ear before nipping his earlobe teasingly, grinning when Mac automatically tipped his head to the side to give him more access. “It’ll be waiting here for you when we get back.”

“You have a point.” Mac replied, turning in his arms to face him with a wide grin on his face. Wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck, Mac pulled him closer, pressing a few kisses against Jack’s jaw, his lips trailing lower to his neck. “Or we could just stay in and do something… else.” Mac wiggled his eyebrows after pulling away, eliciting a loud laugh from Jack.

“Hold that thought for later, man.” Jack grinned, giving Mac one quick kiss before untangling himself from his arms, knowing damn well that if he stayed this close to Mac for a little longer, he would probably not be able to resist him – denying Mac while he was looking at Jack with his pretty blue eyes was something that Jack wasn’t usually capable of doing. But he had a plan to execute, the most important mission of his life, and no matter how appealing the activities Mac was clearly thinking about were, they would have to wait.

It was already after lunchtime and so far everything had been going according to Jack’s schedule. They had spent a quiet morning in the house, another of Jack’s favorite things, and the next step was to drive to the Joshua Tree National Park. Jack had been there a few times before and absolutely loved, and he also knew Mac had visited it with his grandfather many years ago and had wanted to go back there for a while now. After hanging out and walking around for a while, Jack hoped they would get a chance to watch the sunset – Jack had always loved sunsets, ever since he was a kid, and the sunsets in Texas had always been spectacular. He missed them sometimes, especially since he didn’t have as many opportunities to admire them while living in a city as big as Los Angeles, but ever since he had told Mac about them, whenever they were being sent to a middle of nowhere, his partner would always try to find a way for them to stay a bit longer and stick around to watch the sunset. And if Jack had loved watching them before, admiring the sunsets with Mac by his side was even more amazing – there was nothing more beautiful in the world than Mac bathed in a soft light of the sun slowly fading away.

And today Jack was planning to watch yet another sunset with the love of his life and then drop down on one knee and tell Mac exactly how much he meant to him and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life making Mac smile with that wide grin that he seemed to have reserved for Jack and Jack only. There were no words to describe and express how deep Jack’s love for Mac was, but Jack would do his damn best to make sure Mac knew that anyway and then he would ask Mac a question.

A short, simple, yes or no question. A question that had been keeping Jack up at night lately.

Gentle touch of a hand resting on his cheek and a thumb rubbing against his stubble broke him out of his thoughts and he realized that Mac was watching him curiously. “Where did you go just now?” Mac asked teasingly with a small grin on his face. “Getting lost in thoughts is more of my domain.”

Wondering how to respond and not reveal what exactly he had been thinking about, Jack was saved by Mac’s phone starting ringing, _the Imperial March_ sounding ominously from Mac’s pocket. “New ringtone?” Jack frowned; Mac had special ringtones assigned to every member of the team and it also wasn’t his general ringtone, a silly tune Jack had set up for him a month into their relationship that Mac still hadn’t changed.

“Only for a certain someone.” Mac held up his phone with a grin and Jack couldn’t stop the loud laugh when he saw James MacGyver’s name on the screen. “Seemed fitting.”

“Won’t argue about that.” Jack eventually said after he managed to stop laughing. “Why is he calling you on your day off?” The phone stopped ringing, only to start again after a few seconds, and seeing the torn look on Mac’s face, Jack smiled softly. “Answer it, darlin’.”

“You sure?” Mac looked at him hesitantly. “Like you said, it’s our day off and you seemed pretty eager to get out of here.”

“We have time, don’t worry.” Jack said and he meant it – the drive to the park wouldn’t take longer than two hours, so they had plenty of time to get there long before the sunset. “Could be important.”

Sighing, Mac answered the phone, stepping away and starting walking around the living room – Mac had a tendency to walk while talking on the phone, slower or faster, depending on whether he was enjoying the conversation he was having or not, and since he was talking to his father, Jack was pretty sure his walking could soon turn into a pacing.

Not wanting to eavesdrop, Jack tuned Mac’s voice out, leaning against the kitchen counter and curiously eyeing the thing Mac had disassembled and was now attempting to put together again. It was hard to say what it used to be before Mac had gotten his hands on it, but Jack suspected it was the old CD player that he had seen lying around a while ago, and Jack briefly wondered what Mac was planning to turn it into. Knowing he probably would never be able to guess, Jack gave up trying, looking up just in time to see Mac hang up and walk back to Jack with a grim expression on his face.

“He wants me to stop by the Phoenix today, there’s something he wants to talk about.” Mac said before Jack could ask what was wrong. “I told him we had other plans, but he insisted it wouldn’t take long.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jack smiled, hating to see that look on Mac’s face. “I told you, we have time. We can swing by the HQ right now on our way.”

“I’ll make sure it takes ten minutes tops.” Mac promised and Jack wrapped his arm around Mac’s waist as they walked in the direction of the door, kissing his cheek and eliciting a laugh from Mac when he nuzzled against his skin.

“There’s no rush, baby, take all the time you need.” Jack grinned as Mac locked the door behind them before they got into the car. The truth was that as long as James didn’t say anything that would ruin Mac’s mood or hurt him in any way, Jack didn’t mind the slight delay. They weren’t on a very tight schedule and Jack sure could use a few moments more to calm down his nerves and make sure there were no signs of stress on his face.

And maybe practice his proposal speech one more time.

Or ten.

* * *

After leaving Jack in the war room, Mac headed in the direction of his father’s office, still trying to figure out why he had been called in on his day off. He had been thinking about it ever since they had left the house and while his father’s voice had sounded casually… neutral, for some reason Mac had a bad feeling about the conversation he was about to have – his father calling him out of blue like that basically screamed suspicious and Mac involuntarily tensed when he reached the door to Oversight’s office.

Since the door was slightly ajar, Mac didn’t bother with knocking, stepping inside and finding James sitting behind his desk and going through some papers. Hearing him come in, James looked up, his lips stretching in a small smile when his eyes fell on Mac. “Angus. I’m glad you could make it.”

“Well, to be fair, it didn’t seem like I had much of a choice.” Mac said dryly, walking closer and taking a seat on the other side of the desk. “What can I do for you?”

“Straight to the punch, I see.” James chuckled. “It’s not work related, actually. I called you here because I’m worried about you, son.” James said and Mac just blinked, and once the words had registered in his brain, he had to try really hard not to burst out laughing.

“Is that so?” He snorted. “And what exactly has you worried so much?”

“Well.” James started, his voice growing colder. “You spreading your legs for a man fifteen years older than you seems like a good place to start.”

“Wow.” Mac raised his eyebrows, surprised by both his father choosing to comment on his relationship with Jack and the crude way he had phrased the sentence. “I can’t decide if you’re more _worried_ about the fact that I’m dating a man or about the age difference between us.” Mac narrowed his eyes, watching his father carefully. “Whichever it is, I assure you, it’s none of your business.”

“I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to change your mind about that.” James shrugged. “But I figured that maybe showing you that you don’t really know the man you’re sleeping with would make you reconsider your life choices.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Mac asked, his whole body tensing, protectiveness rushing through him as it always did whenever someone dared to say anything negative about Jack.

Reaching for a file lying on his desk, James tossed it in Mac’s direction, gesturing at Mac to take it. Slowly, Mac reached for the file and opened it, revealing mission reports along with some photos and documents. After skimming through all of them, it had become apparent that all the reports had one thing in common – Jack was involved in all of them, either alone or with his former Delta team.

“These are the mission reports and photo evidence from Dalton’s most… interesting assignments, both Delta and CIA related. Venezuela in 2003. Cambodia in 2005. Morocco in 2006, and many, many more.” James said, answering the question Mac was about to ask. “Had he ever told you about these?”

“No, he hadn’t.” Mac replied slowly, his voice steady as he held his father’s gaze. “I was under the impression this is all classified.”

“Your clearance is high enough.” James said instantly, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a smile that filled Mac with uneasiness. “Which means he easily could have told you all of that. But he never did.”

“What exactly is your point?” Mac asked, getting more fed up with the conversation with every passing second.

“My point is, Angus, that you’re so blinded by your… _feelings_ that you don’t see the truth right in front of you.” James said, disdain lacing his voice. “And the truth is that there is no way your relationship with Dalton won’t end in a disaster.”

Breathing in through his nose, Mac clenched his fists tightly, and while he was trying to calm himself down enough not to murder his father on spot, James must have taken his silence as a sign to continue. “You’re brilliant, Angus. The way you think… it’s extraordinary. It’s also why you and Dalton will never last.” James continued with a condescending look on his face. “You’re such a good person and Dalton is just going to drag you down with him. It’s not worth it.”

“Are you implying that Jack is anything but a good person?” Mac asked, his voice laced with a barely contained fury.

“Don’t be irrational, Angus.” James rolled his eyes as if he hadn’t noticed Mac was basically shaking in rage. “Look at the reports, look at what he had done. Dalton is a cold-blooded killing machine, ruthless and unbridled, and he’s just-“

“Shut up.” Mac gritted through his teeth, quietly, cutting James off. “How dare you reduce him to a killing machine? How dare you assume that’s all he is?”

“Isn’t he though?” James shrugged, making Mac’s blood boil.

“He’s so much more than that.” Mac said quietly, struggling to keep his emotions in check. “And you don’t know him at all.”

“I know everything he had done, Angus, it’s all in his file-“

“Exactly.” Mac interrupted his father again. “All you know is his file. You don’t know _Jack._ You don’t know what kind of person he is.” His hands hurting from being clenched tightly, Mac took a deep breath, trying to prevent himself from losing his temper. “People are not just good or bad, life is so much more complicated than that. We’ve all done things more or less questionable and you have no right to say that the choices Jack had made, the things he had been _ordered_ to do, make him a bad person.” Mac looked at James coldly. “Things he had been ordered to do by people like you.”

“Son, you’re being-“

“Do you honestly think I’m an idiot?” Mac cut his father off. “Jack might have never mentioned the details of his assignments, but I know what kind of missions the Delta teams handle. And I know what kind of choices you’re often forced to make while you’re undercover. I’ve always known all of that.” Seeing James open his mouth again, Mac raised his hand to stop him. “I’m not done yet. You want to talk about the things Jack had done? Then how about we talk about how he had saved my life more times than I can count? Where are _these_ mission reports, Oversight?” Mac asked with an arched eyebrow. “Also, are you sure you want to talk about cold-blooded and ruthless? Because leaving your son without as much as a goodbye and then orchestrating his entire life behind his back isn’t exactly warm and fuzzy either, _dad_.” Mac said, eyeing James derisively.

Seeing his father’s jaw clench and his eye twitch, Mac felt the satisfaction spread through his body, both from throwing him off the balance and from making him speechless, at least for a short moment. “I would also like to know why you decided to bring all of that up.” Mac added, arching his eyebrow and staring at James coldly.

“I already told you, I wanted you to learn what kind of man you’re bending over for.” James replied, spitting the words out like a poison, but Mac didn’t even flinch, ignoring James’ crude remark.

“No. What I want to know is _why_ you were trying to make me know all of that. Because let’s be honest, it’s not because you’re being a protective parent. You don’t care about me, you only ever care about yourself.”

“There’s so much more potential in you, Angus.” James leaned forward, looking at Mac intently. “You could be so much better, so much more efficient if you weren’t constantly distracted by Dalton and his antics.” James added and Mac realized he wasn’t even surprised – caring only about what kind of agent Mac was, that was exactly something right up James MacGyver’s alley. It also seemed that James didn’t know a single thing about Mac’s thinking process and the fact that Mac was always able to work faster with Jack rambling about whatever was on his mind; that Mac always worked best with Jack by his side. “You were never even meant to be partnered for so long, I should have gotten rid of him sooner.” James muttered under his breath, instantly bringing Mac out of his thoughts and putting him on high alert.

“Excuse me?” Mac looked at James icily. “I thought you said you were the one to partner us up in the first place, why would you change your mind about that?”

“I picked Dalton as your overwatch because he looked good on paper, his file was impressive. But after watching you two for a while… I realized Dalton with his silly behavior was not the right person to help you reach your highest level, so I was going to find someone else for you to work with.” James said and Mac did his best to ignore the sudden cold feeling in his stomach at the thought of Jack being taken away from him before he could have realized how much he cared about him. "But then Dalton suddenly decided to sign up for another tour and demanded to be paired up with you and before I could do anything about it, his request got approved and my hands were tied. To this day I have no idea why he did it-"

“Maybe he decided I was worth staying for.” Mac interrupted him bitterly. “A concept you're not familiar with, I'm aware. I wouldn't expect you to understand.”

“You’re being overly dramatic, Angus.” James rolled his eyes and Mac briefly wondered how much trouble he would be in if he decided to stab his father in the eye with the pen that was lying on the desk. “Anyway, after your relationship… changed, I thought it was only a matter of time before you two fell apart because you are not supposed to work like that. You weren’t meant to last. But it’s been months and nothing happened, so I had to take matters into my own hands.”

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but I’m afraid all your efforts were in vain.” Mac smirked coldly. “Because nothing you could tell me, nothing Jack could ever do would change how I feel about him.” Closing the file, Mac tossed it back on the desk and stood up. “And I think we’re done here.”

“Angus, wait.” James called out when Mac turned to leave and even though he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, Mac glanced back at his father. “Don’t you understand? Dalton is brutal. Dangerous.” James said, putting on a worried expression on his face, but Mac could see in his eyes that it was just for show – James’ eyes were cold and calculating, and Mac knew that whatever he was going to say next, would be his final blow. “Aren’t you scared that one day he’s just going to snap and hurt you? Or maybe even worse?”

During their entire conversation, Mac had managed to keep his emotions in check, keeping the rage and fury inside of him and stopping himself from doing something impulsive and reckless.

But in that moment, with these last few words, James had crossed the line.

And Mac saw red.

And he lost all the control.

* * *

When they had gotten to the Phoenix, Jack had really meant to just wait for Mac while he was having the talk with his father – whatever James had wanted from Mac, it was probably none of Jack’s business.

He definitely hadn’t been planning on eavesdropping on their conversation, but as Jack was returning from the break room back to the war room, he was forced to walk by Oversight’s office. Just as he was passing by, he suddenly heard his last name being spoken, and Jack was only human, so he stopped by the slightly cracked door, leaning in to hear what Mac and his father were talking about.

And the moment he did, he immediately wished he hadn’t.

“… both Delta and CIA related. Venezuela in 2003. Cambodia in 2005. Morocco in 2006, and many, many more.” Jack listened in horror as James listed the assignments Jack had been a part of, assignments that Jack had spent years trying to forget.

The most gruesome missions he had ever had to complete.

The assignments Jack had never mentioned to Mac and had never planned on telling him about in fear of Mac immediately walking away from him once he knew what kind of things he had done and what kind of calls he had been forced to make.

Jack knew it wasn’t fair to keep all of that from Mac, but he didn’t want to lose him over his past. He was a selfish bastard like that.

He was also an idiot. He should have known he wouldn’t be able to keep Mac in the dark forever and that Mac would eventually find out what kind of man Jack really was.

Hearing the shuffling of papers, Jack realized that Mac was probably skimming through his file or the mission reports which meant he was seeing all the details and descriptions of everything Jack had done during these assignments.

“What exactly is your point?” Jack heard Mac say and to Jack’s surprise, he sounded… tired. Maybe a bit annoyed, but he definitely didn’t sound shocked or disgusted or anything like Jack had expected.

“My point is, Angus, that you’re so blinded by your… _feelings_ that you don’t see the truth right in front of you. And the truth is that there is no way your relationship with Dalton won’t end in a disaster.” Oversight said and Jack could just imagine the condescending look on his face. “You’re brilliant, Angus. The way you think… it’s extraordinary. It’s also why you and Dalton will never last. You’re such a good person and Dalton is just going to drag you down with him. It’s not worth it.”

Closing his eyes, Jack breathed in through his nose, feeling as if someone stabbed him in the heart, repeatedly. James wasn’t saying anything that Jack hadn’t already known – Mac was brilliant, the most extraordinary person Jack had ever met, and he had always known Mac was way too good for him. But Jack had managed to trick himself into believing that maybe they would last despite that.

Oh, how spectacularly wrong he had been.

There was no way Mac would want to be with him after that. Blinking away the tears, Jack could feel the ring in his pocket basically burning against his skin and he briefly wondered if Mac would want anything to do with Jack at all. Honestly, Jack wasn’t sure he would be able to keep working with Mac after their relationship fell apart, so maybe it would be for the best if Mac cut him out completely. This way Jack would only make sure Matty hired someone capable to watch Mac’s back and then Jack would disappear from Mac’s life forever – back into the shadows, back into the darkness that he was so well acquainted with.

Focusing back on the conversation behind the door, Jack’s heart clenched in agony as he heard the words “cold-blooded”, “killing machine”, “ruthless and unbridled” leave Oversight’s mouth. Feeling like he was going to be sick, Jack leaned against the wall, almost doubling over in pain that was spreading through his body. It was all true and there was no way to deny that Jack really was all of these things – he had just hoped that maybe Mac would never realize how truly despicable Jack actually was.

Deciding he had heard enough, Jack was about to get the hell out of there, already mentally preparing himself for Mac ending things with him after he was done talking to his father, but then he was suddenly stopped by Mac’s voice.

Mac’s low voice that sounded so dangerous that it made Jack’s eye widen slightly because he had never heard his boyfriend ( _ex-boyfriend,_ a snide voice whispered in his head) sound like that.

And then Jack basically froze in shock when he realized that Mac was actually _defending_ him.

His heart pounding wildly, Jack listened in disbelief as Mac kept shooting down all of James’ arguments, firmly stating that there was more to Jack than his file, than his past, and it only made Jack even more convinced of something he had known since forever – there weren’t many people in the world as special as Angus MacGyver. And for some unexplainable reason that man, that extraordinary man, had decided that Jack was the one he wanted to be with. And judging by what Mac was saying, even though Jack had never told him anything about his old assignments, Mac had guessed some of it anyway, and Jack felt like kicking himself, repeatedly – Mac was so smart and he had been doing this job long enough, and Jack should have known that Mac had to have at least _some_ idea about what kind of things Jack had done both with his Delta team and then undercover for the CIA.

But, despite all of that, Mac had stayed with him as if it all didn’t matter.

Overwhelmed by all the feelings and emotions, Jack had to restrain himself from barging into the room and kiss the living daylights out of Mac and promise him the moon, the sun and stars, and whatever else he could get his hands on.

“I wanted you to learn what kind of man you’re bending over for.”

The feeling of the affection spreading through Jack’s body was momentarily replaced by anger when he heard James reduce their relationship to just sex, making it sound disgusting and almost sinister, but Jack forced himself to calm down, taking a deep breath when he heard Mac’s calm voice, completely unaffected by his father’s coarse words, firmly inquire why James had felt he needed to open Mac’s eyes about Jack. Since it was something Jack was also very much interested in, he leaned closer, focusing on the conversation, and as James was talking almost reassigning Jack and finding Mac a new overwatch, Jack’s chest tightened and the terror filled his body at the thought of losing Mac so early in their partnership when he hadn’t had a slightest idea what that scrawny EOD tech, the annoying know-it-all, would mean to him.

“Nothing you could tell me, nothing Jack could ever do would change how I feel about him. And I think we’re done here.”

Hearing some shuffling, Jack realized Mac had stood up and was about to leave the room, and Jack knew there was no point in him trying to get out of there. Even if he made it back to the war room before Mac saw him, there was no way Jack would be able to school his features back to normal and pretend he hadn’t been listening in to the entire conversation.

“Angus, wait.” James called out and there was something in his voice that made Jack tense and go completely still. “Don’t you understand? Dalton is brutal. Dangerous. Aren’t you scared that one day he’s just going to snap and hurt you? Or maybe even worse?”

Sagging against the wall, Jack suddenly couldn’t breathe, staring ahead with wide eyes. It was his job to cover Mac while he was off doing god knew what, to protect Mac and keep him safe not only during the missions, but always. It was always Jack’s job to watch out for Mac and spot any threats that may be coming his way to harm him.

Jack just had never considered _himself_ this kind of a threat. He had never considered being something that Mac might need protecting from. But now he did and he couldn’t get it out of his head, Oversight’s words ringing repeatedly in his head.

His hands trembling, he ran his fingers through his hair, feeling sick at the thought that he could potentially hurt Mac, but he was suddenly brought back to reality by something that sounded very much like a growl, followed by shuffling and a very loud thud. His mind automatically associating these particular noises with danger, Jack reacted on autopilot as his instincts tuned to protecting Mac instantly kicked in and he rushed into Oversight’s office, halting to a stop when he saw the scene in front of him.

Mac had James pinned against the wall next to the desk, his arm pressed against his father’s throat while his other hand gripped James’ shirt tightly. “You should be less worried about Jack hurting me which is something that would _never_ happen by the way.” Mac growled, his eyes blazing with rage. “And more worried about me hurting you.” Mac shoved James harder and Jack could only stare, unable to move because during all the years he had spent by Mac’s side, he had never seen him _this_ angry, he had never heard him sound like that.

Because Mac sounded an awful lot like Jack right now.

Jack wasn’t sure how long he had been standing like that, frozen in spot, but he was broken out of his trance by a choking, gurgling sound coming from James MacGyver’s throat. Rushing forward, Jack wrapped his left arm around Mac’s waist and grabbed his right arm with his other hand, forcefully tugging him backwards as James doubled over, wheezing and trying to catch his breath.

“Hey, what the fuck-“ Mac growled, struggling against Jack’s hold and turning to see who dared to stop him, the fight immediately leaving his body when their eyes met. “Jack?”

“He’s not worth it, buddy.” Jack said quietly, still holding Mac firmly because judging from how tense Mac’s muscles were, he would probably lunge at James again if Jack let him go.

“Jack.” Mac breathed out, his eyes suddenly softening. “How much of that did you-“

“Everything.” Jack cut him off with a thin smile, trying to hide mask the pain, but from the look on Mac’s face he could tell that he failed miserably.

“How adorable.” James snorted, stopping Mac from whatever he was going to say, making both Jack and Mac turn their heads to look at him. “Eavesdropping on your boss? I should fire you for that, Dalton.”

Breathing in through his nose, the words _be my guest_ were on the tip of Jack’s tongue, but he swallowed them down, his grip on Mac tightening reflexively without him even realizing. And then Mac shifted his gaze back to Jack, his eyebrow arched and a silent question in his eyes, and Jack instantly knew what Mac meant. “Are you sure?” He asked quietly, not wanting to force Mac to do anything he might regret later, but Mac just smiled, the corner of his lips quirking up in that half smile that Jack loved so much. After searching his eyes and not seeing any sign of doubt, Jack gave him a small nod and released Mac from his hold, figuring he had calmed down enough not to murder his father on spot. His father who was still slightly wheezing, massaging his throat, and Jack would be lying if he said the sight didn’t fill him with at least a bit of satisfaction.

Turning to look at James again, the smile slipped from Mac’s lips and his eyes lost the softness that they were filled with when he was looking at Jack. “Don’t worry, dad, we’ll make it easier for you. We quit.”

 “Oh, please.” James sneered. “You already quit once, Angus, it’s getting a bit boring. You’ll be back before you know it.”

“I don’t think so.” Mac replied, his voice growing colder. “See, when it was just you and me, I could swallow it down and keep working for you. But now you’ve involved Jack in your little games and the way you talked about him… I won’t stand for that.”

“Are you seriously going to choose _him_ over your job? Over your career?” James asked incredulously and for a second Mac looked like he might lunge at his father again.

“Of course.” Mac replied without missing a beat, the speed with which he answered making Jack’s heart stutter. “I would pick him over anything. Over anyone.” And with that Mac turned on his heel and grabbed Jack’s hand, tugging him when he started walking in the direction of the door, Jack following easily, his mind being a tangled mess as he tried to wrap it around everything that had just happened.

So lost in his thoughts, he let Mac lead him through the Phoenix corridors and it wasn’t until they reached his car that Jack realized they were already in the garage and that he somehow must have missed the elevator ride and getting there. Suddenly, Mac pushed him gently against the car and when Jack looked up, Mac’s eyes, so incredibly blue, were looking at him with an intense gaze. And then Mac hands tightened on the material of Jack’s t-shirt and he tugged him forward, pressing his lips against Jack in a hard kiss, his tongue pushing against Jack’s lips. His hands travelling automatically to Mac’s hips, Jack parted his lips, letting Mac in, shivering when Mac instantly deepened the kiss, pressing himself even closer and kissing Jack with so much force that suddenly Jack was glad he was leaning against the car because otherwise his knees would have probably given out from the sheer passion Mac was pouring into the kiss.

Then, Mac pulled away, ending the kiss just as abruptly as he had started it, and he wrapped his arms around Jack’s neck, pulling him into a tight hug. “I love you, do you hear me?” Mac’s desperate voice sounded in his ear, Mac’s hot breath ghosting on his skin. “I love you so much.”

Closing his eyes, Jack wrapped his arms around Mac’s waist, burying his face in the crook of Mac’s neck, breathing in the comforting smell, the blend of Mac’s laundry detergent and just… Mac. Mac who smelled like sunshine and home, with a touch of metal and rust, but also a bit like leather and gunpowder which was probably caused by Mac stealing Jack’s clothes all the time. Pressing a soft kiss against Mac’s neck, Jack sighed and loosened his grip on Mac so he could lean back to look at him, Mac’s arms sliding from his shoulders as he rested his hands on Jack’s chest. “Your old man kinda had a point, you know.”

“Jack, no-“

“Mac.” Jack cut him off softly. “Everything you’ve seen in these files… It’s all true.”

“Of course it is, I know that.” Mac said with a gentle look in his eyes. “Jack, I’ve always known that. But it doesn’t matter – not to me.” Feeling his eyes well up, Jack blinked rapidly a few times and Mac obviously noticed because he moved his one hand to Jack’s cheek, softly rubbing the skin under Jack’s eye with his thumb. “Everything you’ve done, it’s not like you had a choice – you were just doing your job. I would never blame you for that, Jack. No matter what.”

Swallowing down the lump in his throat, Jack pulled Mac into another kiss, wondering how on earth he managed to get so damn lucky. It was taking everything in his power not to just drop down on one knee and ask Mac to marry him right there, but he held himself back, knowing Mac deserved better than a proposal in the underground Phoenix garage. Breaking the kiss, Jack pulled away enough to lean his forehead against Mac’s. “I don’t deserve you.” He breathed out against Mac’s lips.

“Yeah, you do.” Mac smiled and after pressing one more kiss against Jack’s lips, he leaned back. “So, what do you want to do? We can still go on that trip we had planned.”

“How about a raincheck? I don’t think I’m in a mood for a road trip anymore.” Jack said and the truth was, he just didn’t think he would be able to stop himself from proposing during the two-hour drive to the Joshua Tree National Park.

“Are you sure?” Mac asked with a small frown, his voice laced with concern.

“Yeah, I am.” Jack smiled, genuinely eager to get back home, hyperaware of the little box that was patiently waiting in his pocket. “Honestly, a quiet afternoon in the house sounds heavenly right now.”

The moment they got into the car, Mac immediately reached for Jack’s hand, entwining their fingers together and resting their joined hands between them, rubbing circles with his thumb as Jack drove the car. The ride was silent and Jack could feel Mac glancing at him worriedly every now and then, but he didn’t say anything for what Jack was grateful. Oversight’s words were still ringing in his head and while Mac was still obviously right by his side, it would take a moment for Jack to quiet his thoughts and get rid of the doubts still lingering around the edges. Besides, Jack had a feeling he would probably blurt out the question he was planning to ask right there if they started talking, so he appreciated the comfortable silence between them.

Once they got back to the house, Jack could feel the nerves bubbling inside him, but he shoved them down, heading out to the deck and sitting by the fire pit. Moments later he heard footsteps behind him and then Mac was sitting down next to him, two bottles of beer in his hands. “I’m really sorry, Jack, I know you wanted to see the sunset today.”

“Nah, it’s okay.” Jack smiled, taking one sip of beer before setting the bottle aside. “I’d trade all the sunsets for moments like this with you.” Seeing Mac duck his head with a blush coloring his cheeks, Jack’s smile widened and he reached for the bottle in Mac’s hand, ignoring his small frown when Jack set it aside next to his. “Actually, there’s something I wanted to tell you.” Seeing he had Mac’s full attention, Jack took one last deep breath. “You know, before I met you… I wasn’t in a very good place back then. All the years I spent at Delta and then CIA took a toll on me whether I wanted to admit it or not, I was stuck doing babysitting work in the damn Sandbox, and I was just… I was so angry all the damn time. It felt like I was drowning in the darkness, there was this huge gaping hole inside me and I couldn’t even look myself in the eye in the mirror without wanting to punch the reflection of the man I had become. But then I met you.” Jack smiled, glancing at Mac who was watching him with a gentle gaze. “And you didn’t put up with any of my shit, you had a snarky response to every damn thing I had to say… God, you annoyed the hell out of me at first.” Jack shook his head with a small laugh, Mac chuckling as well. “But as we kept working together, I slowly started to realize that the void inside me wasn’t so big anymore and that suddenly it was easier to look in the mirror. It was around that time that I also realized your smile had the power to chase away any clouds gathering in my head.” Fiddling with his fingers, Jack took in a stuttering breath before continuing. “You saved me back then, Mac. And you keep saving me every day.”

“Jack…” Mac started, trailing off, his blue eyes looking at him with so many emotions in them, and if Jack wasn’t so damn nervous, he would probably feel pretty smug about making Mac at loss for words.

“You know, I had a slightly different plan for today.” Jack said, reaching into his pocket. “The big speech was going to happen, only the location was supposed to be different, but well…” Jack took out the ring box and slid down on his knee next to the fire pit, eliciting a sharp gasp from Mac. “After so many years with you by my side, I’ve learned to improvise.” When he glanced up at Mac, Mac was looking at him in shock with tears shining in his eyes, making them look even brighter and more blue than usually. “You are my reason to keep going, Mac. My favorite thing in the entire world.” His heart pounding wildly, Jack opened the box, revealing the ring inside. “And there’s nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life loving you. So, Angus MacGyver, will you marry me?”

“Yeah, yes, of course.” Mac breathed out immediately before Jack could even start worrying, grabbing Jack’s shoulders and pulling him up to crash their lips together. Feeling the happiness spread through his body, Jack wrapped his arms around Mac’s waist, smiling against Mac’s lips, and he couldn’t help the laugh bubbling out of him when he felt Mac smiling as well. Breaking the kiss, Jack took the ring out of the box and grabbed Mac’s left hand, carefully sliding the ring onto his finger, his heart stuttering when he realized how perfectly it fit, the shape of the paperclip curving around Mac’s finger and looking as beautiful as Jack had imagined. “I can’t believe you found a paperclip inspired engagement ring.” Mac chuckled breathlessly, pulling Jack closer. “It’s amazing.” He whispered against Jack’s lips before kissing him again, sliding his tongue into his mouth, one arm wrapped around Jack’s neck with his left hand tightly gripping Jack’s t-shirt. Wrapping his arms around Mac’s waist again, Jack nipped Mac’s bottom lip teasingly before moving his lips to Mac’s jaw, making his way lower until he got to Mac’s neck, sucking on the sensitive skin and enjoying the breathless sounds Mac was letting out, followed by a sharper gasp when Jack bit him lightly. Letting go of his t-shirt, Mac started blindly pawing around, but before Jack could question what he was looking for, Mac let out a small triumphant sound and seconds later Jack saw him holding a fuzzy blanket and spreading it behind him as much as he could with his other arm still wrapped around Jack and Jack’s lips still attached to his neck.

Once he was done, Mac grabbed Jack’s shoulders and lied down on his back, pulling Jack along so he was lying on top of him. Settling between Mac’s spread legs, Jack kissed him again, tangling his fingers in Mac’s hair and tugging it lightly, smiling into the kiss when Mac moaned, arching into Jack’s touch. Feeling Mac tugging at his t-shirt, Jack broke the kiss and pulled the t-shirt over his head, tossing it aside and starting to work on the buttons of Mac’s shirt. Huffing in frustration, he finally managed to get to the last one, helping Mac get the shirt off and he was about to dive back in when he suddenly remembered something. “Damn, baby, we don’t have-“

“Oh, we have everything.” Mac cut him off, reaching to his right and to Jack’s surprise, lifting one of the boards on deck that was apparently loose. But what shocked Jack even more was the small bottle of lube that Mac whipped out from a secret compartment under the board, making him stare at Mac with wide eyes.

“You’ve hidden lube on the deck?” He looked at Mac incredulously, unable to stop a small laugh escaping from his throat.

“Excuse me, are you complaining?” Mac arched his eyebrow and god, Jack loved him so much.

“Oh, not at all.” Jack grinned before bending down to kiss Mac again, groaning when their bare chests touched. Leaning on his forearms, Jack kissed Mac slowly and he gasped when Mac suddenly ran his hands down his back and Jack felt the cool metal of Mac’s ring against his skin. Realizing what caused his reaction, Mac slowly moved his left hand up and down Jack’s back, purposefully pressing the ring into his skin and making Jack’s entire body shudder. Sliding his hand to Jack’s shoulder and then to his neck, Mac rested his hand on Jack’s cheek and in that moment it truly hit Jack that it all was real, that Mac had really agreed to marry him, that Mac didn’t care about his past, that Mac had chosen him despite everything he had done. Feeling the emotions get the better of him, Jack broke the kiss, burying his head in the crook of Mac’s neck and once again breathing in the familiar smell and letting himself get lost in it. As if he knew exactly what was going through Jack’s head, Mac wrapped his arms tightly around him, pressing a kiss against Jack’s temple.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Mac muttered into his hair and Jack shuddered again. “I’m not going anywhere.” Breathing in and out a couple of times, Jack eventually managed to get enough of his composure back and started mouthing on Mac’s neck, kissing his way back to his lips.

“I love you so much.” Jack breathed out, kissing Mac a bit harder, sliding his hand down to unbuckle Mac’s belt. As they tried not the break the kiss for too long, they somehow managed to get rid of both of their pants and underwear and Jack didn’t waste any more time, reaching for the lube and opening the bottle. Feeling Mac spread his legs even wider, Jack moved his hand lower, pressing his finger against Mac’s entrance and pushing it in slowly, swallowing Mac’s groan as he kissed him deeply. It didn’t take long before Mac started squirming and whining underneath him, so Jack added a second finger, then the third, thrusting in and out while moving his lips to Mac’s neck again, sucking on the bruise he had been working on before, nipping gently and arching into Mac’s nails scratching down his back.

“Jack, Jack, please.” Mac whimpered. “Please.”

Not able to deny him, Jack pulled his fingers out and reached for the lube, coating himself quickly before lining himself against Mac’s entrance. Slowly, he started pushing in, groaning at the sudden warmth and tightness surrounding him and he forced himself to still once he bottomed out, giving Mac time to get used to the stretch. After a moment, Mac pulled him down to crash their lips together, wrapping his legs around Jack’s waist, and slowly, Jack started moving. Breaking the kiss, Jack braced himself on his forearms and locked his gaze with Mac’s before picking up the pace and moving faster, his hips snapping forward and making Mac gasp with every thrust. Jack didn’t know if it was because they had just gotten engaged because while sex with Mac was always out of the world and unlike anything he had experienced before they had gotten together, this time everything felt so much more intense and Jack wasn’t sure how long he would be able to last. Feeling Mac moving his left hand to his neck, Jack stilled his hips for a second to grab Mac’s hand and entwine their fingers together and he placed their hands above Mac’s head, starting to move again. Seeing the ring on Mac’s finger and feeling it against his fingers made Jack’s heart pound even more wildly and he started thrusting in harder, hitting Mac’s prostate every few thrusts judging by the strangled screams that were escaping from Mac’s throat. Feeling himself getting closer, Jack buried his face in Mac’s shoulder, slamming his hips forward even faster, pressing kisses wherever he could reach and with one particularly hard snap of his hips, Mac came with a loud shout, Jack’s name falling from his lips as he threw his head back, clenching around Jack and making him see stars. Groaning, Jack gripped Mac’s hand tightly as he kept thrusting into him and it only took a few moments for him to follow Mac over the edge, coming inside him, his hips moving erratically as the pleasure shot through his body, almost making him black out.

Collapsing on top of Mac, Jack panted heavily, desperately trying to catch his breath, and judging from how Mac’s chest was heaving, he wasn’t doing any better. Starting to feel uncomfortable, Jack reluctantly pushed himself up a bit and pulled out, making Mac let out something between a whine and a hiss. Kissing him softly, Jack let go of Mac’s hand and lied back down on his left side, wrapping his arm around Mac to roll him on his right side and pull him closer. Sliding his hand down Mac’s back, Jack felt the rush of possessiveness go through his body when he ran his fingers lower, feeling his come dripping out of Mac’s hole, and Mac let out a soft whine when Jack teasingly rubbed his fingers against his entrance, kissing Mac again and swallowing the breathless noises he was making. Moving his hand back up, Jack broke the kiss to look at Mac and the breath got knocked out of him again when Mac looked at him with so much love and affection that Jack felt like he could start crying any second.

“I love you.” Mac said quietly, the corners of his lips curving in a soft smile.

“I love you too.” Jack smiled, his heart almost bursting with how happy he felt. “I can’t believe you said yes.”

“Of course I did.” Mac cupped Jack’s face with his left hand, slowly running his fingers against his stubble before the soft smile on his face turned a bit more mischievous. “Although I must say, I almost expected you to ask me to be the yee to your haw.”

Laughing loudly, Jack moved closer, pressing a chaste kiss in the corner of Mac’s mouth. “I was trying to be classy, man.” Jack grinned, his arm tightening around Mac’s waist. “Will you, though? Be the yee to my haw?”

“Oh, absolutely.” Mac smiled so widely, the kind of smile he only ever smiled at Jack. “I’ll be anything you want me to be.”

“Anything, huh?” Jack asked, arching his eyebrow. “Then how about my forever?”

Wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck, Mac hooked his leg over Jack’s thigh to press his whole body against Jack’s. “Only if you’re mine.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” Jack nuzzled his nose against Mac’s before pressing their lips together. “Till we go kaboom, darlin’.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it! ♥
> 
> (check out the photo of Mac's engagement ring [here](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1625/1633/products/paperclipring-side-WG_1024x1024.jpg?v=1492799805)!)


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